i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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