I wannas sexs uuuuu
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize