Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
