we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
