Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
