just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
