I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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