I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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