she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
