So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
