Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
