Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
