I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
