What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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