The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
