I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
