I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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