ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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