he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
