hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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