Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
