I wish I only lived at night.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
