My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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