That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
