i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
