i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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