do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
