remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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