it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
