I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
