Well douche your snatch and let's go!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
