Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
