Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
