Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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