On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
