So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
