he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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