As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
