Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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