I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
