its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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