he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
