Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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