he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
