You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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