she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
