is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
