The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
