look no pants
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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