I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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