what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
