i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
