Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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