Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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