But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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