Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
