he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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