Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This is classic penis vs brain.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
