Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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