Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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